It's been a long time since i last blogged. Guess i've been getting lazy and complacent recently.
This week was quite a rocky start for us. Things just didnt feel right. I feel sad most of the time. I kept comparing things between us in the past and in the present. And i kinda felt like there was quite a significant amount of change.
You used to send me home every day without fail. I still remember how we would sit by the park to talk till my curfew time is up. And how much trouble you took just to get home. That touch me a lot till now. I am really thankful and appreciative of that my dear.
Besides that, I also kept thinking about how hard you would try to make me happy and the amount of effort and attention you put into me. I must say that i really felt like a princess at that time, having all your thoughts, effort, mine, time and everything on me.
Right now it feels that there is a vast difference between things now. Gone were the days of sending me home after every date, and those dates where your attention is on me only.
Somehow i guess i've gotten over that today. Instead of lamenting over what you cannot have, why not try to make things as amazing as it can be now. God was teaching me something yesterday. That we should not see things or people in the past as what they are now, but see them as what they are trying to be. I guess i should not be stuck or too caught up in the past and instead, move on.
Its nice to reminisce about the happy memories we forged together in the past. I'm sorry for overdoing it. And also, for bringing that expectation into our current relationship now. Things are different and i know i cant expect the same things as before. (lol. is it kinda like inflation? hehe)
In my humble opinion, i guess things cant be the same because we are not the same anymore. It started out as sweet silly love. Called it that because we were young in that relationship, and still had a lot we have not learnt about each other. I always believe that every relationship is different and the amount of experience you have in past relationships does not guarantee a sure win this time. At that time we were contended spending time with one another and everything was so surreal, sweet and nice.
You are the first guy who i hung out with till so late at night on a date. First person who sneaked me into his secondary school just to show me the beautiful stars. First one who tells me so many stories about his secondary school life. I love being told stories and everything that you told me captivates. You are the first in so many things in my life. I am truly blessed and thankful to be with you.
I should always count my blessings and thinking back, although we had bad times, we had tremendous wonderful memories as well. We grew together and without you, i will not be the girl i am now.
I read your post about people being jealous of us because it seems like we're always in a honeymoon period. I believe that it takes constant effort to keep our rs alive as well. Well, i think somehow we really got a little lazy and complacent since we are so comfortable in each other's presence.
Our love is different now. It has grown much much stronger. More than what I imagined initially, and we've proven others that we are indeed the one ;)
What do you do when you think you've found the one for you.
You better damn hell keep him.
Thats what i've been telling and reminding myself as well.
When the going gets tough, the only thing you can do is to get tougher.
Its hard and tiring at times just like how you push me to exercise. But at the end of the day, the results are the same.
I'll not regret it
<3
mel
